Why not excited about wedding

It adds oodles of pressure on you for that one day to be incomparable to all of the other days, past, present and future. I mean How are you possibly expected to live up to such an extraordinary standard? I've been married for like a decade, and while I look back on my wedding day as one of the best days of my life, that's all it was So, put it into perspective. Obviously, the birth of my kids is def at the top of the list um See what I'm getting at?

So, let yourself off the hook. This is a tough one especially if you're amongst the first of your peer group to get married. Everybody is looking at you to take the lead, and maybe you don't want the conch. Maybe you just want an intimate ceremony and small reception or maybe you want a kickass party, but no matter what you want, your wedding is going to be the measuring stick against all the rest just because you're first.

Which leads to more pressure. Our marriage lasted only 13 months. I responded by ignoring the obvious and ordering more shots. Getting married is a decision that should only involve the two people getting married to one another. I usually love planning things, I like organizing fun stuff to do, I like being a thoughtful hostess, I like events. Indifference toward your wedding is a red flag. On the flip side, hyper-focusing on wedding details can also be a red flag.

Many brides-to-be get so lost in wedding planning that they lose a sense of self. Create one to avoid any vibe missteps. This might seem like a no-brainer, but when you have a million things happening, this one is easy to forget.

If your honeymoon is taking place in a different country, make sure you bring your passport and any other necessary travel documents. Getting married is a big decision, and with big decisions can come big nerves.

If you feel overwhelmed, talk to friends, family and mental health professionals to help ease your worries and aid in creating healthy ways to manage stress.

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What can I do to enjoy the wedding planning process? Talk about your feelings. Delegate responsibilities. Focus on the fun. Those people are wrong. A big wedding where the marriage ends in divorce.

How you say that gently is up to you. Go talk to someone. You can absolutely go alone and together. Let me say that again, you have my permission to go alone and together. If you need to ice the wedding plans for a bit while things get talked out, then do that. You can seriously get married all year-round.

So while next summer is a nice time, maybe let the date be a moving target until you get things sorted. Not being excited about your engagement can be a red flag. Feeling that other people are controlling the path to marriage and the wedding are also not good things. If you do, then maybe a step back would be really healthy and helpful for your relationship.

We celebrated after our super quick courthouse elopement. Because it was such a happy moment. When it finally does come time to plan your celebration, know that you really can do it on your own terms. I officiated a wedding this past summer where we FaceTimed all the out of town parents in so they could be there. Blergh, I know how much it sucks to hear all this.

Know that there is no wrong answer to that question. Photo by Gabriel Harber. You can email Liz at: askteampractical [at] apracticalwedding [dot] com. If you would prefer to not be named, anonymous questions are also accepted.